Welcome to the archives. If you’re a Gen-X creative casualty of the 90’s, you remember a decade of empty promises and doomed industries. In the early 2000’s, I’d been a cinematographer on feature films, shorts and commercials.  It was a lot of fun. I had some great times and worked with wonderful teams. Back then, people had hope they could break in and NYC was filled with lots of eager filmmakers turning out shorts and features on nights and weekends. Tons of festivals and screenings. Low budgets but big dreams. By 2010, everyone woke up and thank goodness, nobody had quit their day job. Official Rejection outlines all this better than I can here. Great film. Very sad. Needless to say, the party ended.

I, however, was still a film school graduate and I’d gone all in. I figured I’d write my own scripts and raise the capital myself. How hard could it be right? So in the decade that followed, I’d written 10 feature length screenplays and 4 television pilots, along with a production company plan. One of my feature scripts was even optioned with a directing agreement. One of my TV pilot scripts was in a shopping agreement with a producing team that sadly, couldn’t make a go of it. Was also commissioned to write a pilot that was lauded and then abandoned by the team that hired me. All three experiences taught me that writing is actually something I’m pretty good at, but that selling scripts or raising capital for creative endeavors are both soul crushing nightmares of humiliation and frustration.

So what’s next? I’m currently working on a third book. I’ve learned that all the world building I’ve done on the scripts was easily adapted to novels. Well, it’s not exactly easy, but it is fun. The first two novels are complete but I’m waiting till there’s a few more before I try to publish anything. Like the film industry, traditional publishing is also fading into oblivion.

Why bother trying to be creative anymore? Like I said, it’s fun. If you’re a young filmmaker and you’re making a movie, keep in mind that you will want to remember the experience fondly. Embrace and welcome all of it. The collaborators, the problem solving, the challenges. And know that these days, the process itself, is likely the only reward. Whether the film is cringe or genius, won’t determine its fate. As with all creative pursuits, someone relevant may see it and help you or they won’t. There’s no control over that. All you can control for, is your attitude. Stay positive.